Day Two: Cannon in D+

….or, Better By Chocolate (BBC)

I have developed a theory: if you maintain a sunny disposition and fiddle around with something long enough, it’s bound to improve. Take the Cannon camera, for instance. After its losing battle with the floor yesterday, most would have put it away and given up hope on digital vacation pictures. But not me. Rather than accept my misfortune, I ignored it and carried on as usual, snapping photos and taking movies. And what do you know, the Little Cannon that Could began, very slowly at first, to capture my own sense of optimism. Call it denial, but I call it progress: By pudding time, nearly all was well, and the camera was humming along, digitally speaking.

The British are that way, you know. They have a proud history of refusing to frown in the face of adversity. They’ve shown the world the proper way of going on about their business. Even in times of war we’ve found them having their morning tea, stepping around potholes in sidewalks or bumping along the Underground while reading the Times; stopping off to top off with a pint, and heading home at night with an “All’s well that ends well” in their step.

I rather like the theory: Refuse to accept that things are as bad as they really are, and things are bound to get better.

Case in point: You’re looking at pictures taken roughly 24 hours after the Cannon crashed to the marble floor and nearly lost its lens. Yet it appears to be on the mend. No, really. I think it’s going to be allright. Neither Elliot nor I need red-eye corrective adjustments in the photo accompanying this blog. In fact, Elliot’s eyes have never been more photographically accurate.

Maybe all the Cannon camera needed was a walk in the park.

[Today we took our second walk in the park. I spent an hour following paths and enticingly-worded signs — “Peter Pan” This Way; “Princess Diana Memorial Playground” That Way; “Kensington Palace” This Way; “Princess Diana Memorial Fountain” That Way — yet I didn’t find a playground, statue or monument until we were a few feet away from the exit at dark. There it was, in the dark, a few feet from the exit – mere yards away from the gate that I’d entered twice before: A Playground. ip information . We may journey back there tomorrow in time for lunch. I will wear something other than heels.]

Back to the camera: Throughout the day I continued to take photos. I manually fiddled with the lens itself (which won’t retract), pressed buttons, slid sliders, turned options on and off, and finally found my way to optimum performance in a controlled setting: the “Macro” button. Lo and behold, in the lobby of the hotel, photographs started improving, bit by bit. I have both witnesses and evidence, which you shall see on these pages.

I wonder how many other appliances will get better if you simply refuse to accept that they’re broken, take them along with you on walks in Kensington Park, and lavish them with attention for hours on end. Wouldn’t most everybody’s disposition improve under similar conditions?

The only thing that seems to have gotten crankier is the Sit-N-Stroll. It has not taken to the cobbled streets and bumpy sidewalks of Kensington. On more than one occasion it has utterly refused to move another inch, and I’ve had to carry both it and its passenger (Elliot) until they were rested enough to carry on on their own. The stroller is now parked dejectedly by the door of our room, its wheels brown and muddy from a horse path we plowed across when I’d lost my way from the sidewalk in the gardens.

In other news, the tap water in our hotel room is heavily chlorinated — a fact that becomes increasingly obvious the longer the water runs. Not enough chlorine to bleach clothes, I hope, but I am a bit concerned about washing my hair in it. The good news is that Elliot’s sippy cup is soaking in a warm bowl of it, and it should be sterilized by morning.

That brings me back to another part of our conversation with the cab driver from yesterday, who’s growing smarter with each passing blog. He told us that England has grown by 30 million people, but the infrastructure hasn’t kept pace. In fact, more people are required to live on the same amount of water as they had 40, 50, 60 years ago. They get their water from the sky, he says. And the sky isn’t making any more of it. God forbid they have a dry summer. They’ll have to start importing it, or building desalinating plants. There’s some wisdom in London’s cabbies. Folk wisdom, maybe, but relatable nonetheless. Should have asked what the old chap’s name was.

We saw trains today. Great Western High Speeders, I call them. Elliot is very excited about riding in one on Thursday. He also wants to get on an airplane tomorrow.

After the outing at the park, I ordered just about everything on the menu in our hotel restaurant’s exterior lounge, including but not limited to: Full tea (a pot of tea with a three-level-tall tower of finger sandwiches, biscuits, puddings and cakes; and hallelujah, clotted cream and jam); a bowl of broccoli-British-cheese soup; lamb and curry and naan; a basket of bread with butter; a pint of Guinness; and water. Brian, our model of moderation, restraint and good temper, had a single-serving course of dinner.

Afterward, the three of us shared a fabulous chocolate “pudding”: a bundt-cakey-thing filled with warm chocolate pudding, settled just-so on top of a small puddle of coffee-flavored cream, speared with a pure chocolate stick, and situated next to a shot glass filled with frozen coffee-flavored ice cream that was delightfully chewy (no, really. delightful). Sort of like what you’d expect if you’d frozen coffee-flavoured clotted cream. Wait a minute….

It’s difficult to describe clotted cream. One day when it’s not 4 a.m. in London, I’ll attempt to do so.

I enjoyed every minute of dinner(s) and dessert(s), and it was around this time that the camera started feeling better, as several subsequent photos turned out quite nicely.

We finally pushed away from the table and set off for a quick tour of Paddington station (en route to another grocery store in the station). I left the lounge feeling thunderous, groggy and whimsical. My hips asked for a cigarette.

At the grocery store I purchased items for breakfast and lunch: more fresh fruit, honey yogurt, rice-strawberry something or other that I mistook for yogurt; milk, stunningly delicious, fresh orange juice, bananas, and items from the shelf that were so cleverly worded that I couldn’t bear to leave the store without them.

I snapped pictures of “extremely chocolatey” something-or-others (above), and “wobbly worm” candies.

We found a Cornish pasty shop just a few feet from the trains, and I took pictures of both the shop and the trains. I am saving my first pasty-eating experience in 5 years for Cornwall, though. Some things are worth the wait.

About Charlie Fern

Strategic Communications Consultant
Owner, Principal of Charlie Fern Ink, LLC

Charlene “Charlie” Fern has spent 26 years in communications — as a journalist in Texas in California; and as a press attaché and media advisor for elected officials and business executives in Texas, Washington, D.C., and New Jersey, as an adjunct professor of public relations, and as the founder and principal of a strategic communications consultancy, which is now in its 13th year.

Ms. Fern has worked as speechwriter in the Texas Governor’s Office, the Texas Attorney General’s Office, and the White House. She served as director of executive communications for Merck & Co., Inc (then the world’s second-largest pharmaceutical company). She has also taught public relations at the university level.

In 2003 Ms. Fern launched Charlie Fern Ink, LLC, a privately owned strategic communications consultancy. Her clients include musicians and celebrities, professional athletes, executives, diplomats, opinion leaders, global and government leaders, elected officials, corporate boards and CEOs, non-profit founders and leaders, and other writers, public speakers and public relations professionals. She provides strategic communications counsel in a broad range of industries including music and entertainment, health and medicine, government, education, high-tech startups, small businesses, national franchises, Fortune-500 to Fortune 10 companies, government agencies, trade associations, advocacy groups and non-profit organizations.

She has volunteered as a board member or advisor for causes including the Austin Children’s Shelter; Friends of Texas Public Schools (she co-founded and served as a board member for this statewide non-profit through 2008); A Happy Healthy Child; They Often Cry Outreach (TOCO); Mobile Loaves and Fishes; the Wright House Wellness Center and the Texas Book Festival. She has served as Chairwoman of the Texas Book Festival’s Children’s Entertainment Committee in 2009, 2011, 2012, and 2013.

Ms. Fern has served as an adjunct professor of public relations at St. Edward’s University in Austin, Texas, and she continues to lecture at colleges, universities, conferences and forums on subjects including leadership, the art of storytelling as a global business tool, writing and communications in life and management, effective leadership, public relations, strategic engagement and deployment of personal and professional communications, social media, event planning, and corporate, politics and government communications.

Charlie Fern Ink, LLC, is a strategic communications consultancy that provides services including public relations and publicity, tour and media management, strategic message development and deployment, media relations and media training, executive coaching, speech writing and public speaking coaching, event planning, social media strategy; cross-platform branding, and professional writing and editing with areas of expertise that include international relations, business, and diplomacy; government, education, non-profit/advocacy, music and entertainment, healthcare, biotech, technology, social media, entrepreneurial/startup and general professional communications. She presently lives and works from her home studio in Austin, Texas.

Accolades

“This is like a big Hollywood party,” exclaimed NBC’s Chris Matthews after the entertainment at the Kuwaiti embassy dinner Tuesday celebrating Marvin Hamlisch’s birthday. Truth be told, it was actually more like a night on Broadway. What’s not to love: Hostess Rima Al-Sabah’s dinner … and Ambassador Salem Al-Sabah’s witty speech, incorporating titles of the honoree’s songs (“Nobody Does It Better,” “Ordinary People,” “Sunset, Lollipops and Rainbows”) introduced the show.

— The Washington Times, May 18, 2007

“Charlie Fern has the ability to take complex information and quickly turn it into meaningful material for the general reader. Her greatest talent is in her ability to create memorable language and with her assistance over the years she has opened many doors for me to be of greater service to this community.

“As a non-profit executive director her assistance has allowed me to effectively communicate with the media, government leaders on every level, grantors and big money donors. As a result there are hundreds of people in Austin living an enhanced quality of life. Whether it is an abused child, an individual living with HIV/AIDS or the hungry, Charlie Fern knows just how to craft the argument to get the attention of your audience. I could not recommend her more highly.”

– Susan Wills, MS, LPC Executive Director, the Wright House Wellness Center.

“Charlie Fern has a lot to offer a professional communicator. Her expertise in platform building and speech preparation helped our team provide a top-notch product to our CEO in a timely manner.”

– Linda Rutherford, Vice President, Public Relations and Community Affairs Southwest Airlines

“Outstanding. Top Notch. Best ever. These are some of the responses we received … on this year’s Zhone Tech…They also mirror the reaction from our staff, partners and organizers. What distinguishes my commentary from the others is my full awareness of the substantial role that you played in the terrific success that we enjoyed. I am grateful for not only your expertise and your exceptional gift for prose, but also for your patience and dedication in working under demanding and often unreasonable conditions. Throughout the ordeal you demonstrated nothing less than composure and professionalism. It has been my pleasure to have had the opportunity to work with you on this outstanding engagement.”

– David Markowitz, VP Marketing, Zhone Technology

“Charlie Fern is an alliance partner of Excel Meetings and Events and provides speech writing and coaching to our corporate clients. She has an impeccable background and brings exceptional professionalism to her work. As an alliance partner, she is an invaluable asset to our business.”

– Jon Wollenhaupt, Vice President, Excel Meetings and Events

“I have been honored by the friendship of my colleagues in the White House speechwriting department: Michael Gerson, Pete Wehner, Matthew Scully…Charlene Fern… — altogether the finest presidential speechwriting team since Alexander Hamilton and James Madison collaborated on Washington’s Farewell Address.”

– David Frum, The Right Man: The Surprise Presidency of George W. Bush

Clients

Ms. Fern has worked extensively in both the public and private sectors, with celebrities, musicians, government leaders, heads of state, corporate executives and board members. Her strategic communication consultancy includes speechwriting and coaching, public relations and marketing, media training, public speaking and teaching.

On Stage:

She delivers motivational speeches and informative lectures nationwide to groups of all sizes. Topics include leadership, strategic communication, public relations (including case studies), and her experiences as a speechwriter in the Texas Governor’s Office and at the White House (where she worked on 9-11).

Clients and Industries:

Ms. Fern works with clients on-site, on the road or virtually. She and her team handle each project and every client with the utmost care, professionalism and discretion. Our experience includes work in areas that include:

Airlines
Celebrities
Colleges and Universities
Diplomatic Corps – Ambassadors and Heads of State
Event Planning
Education – Early Childhood to University Instruction
Elected Officials
Embassies – worldwide
Entrepreneurs – CEOs and Boards
Foundations – Local to International
Fortune-500 to Fortune-5 Companies
Franchises – executives and Franchisees
Government – Federal
Government – State
Healthcare
High Tech
Music and musicians – artists, songwriters and labels
Non-Profits
Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)
Oil and Gas
Pharmaceutical
Political candidates
Professional athletes (NFL, olympic stars, etc)
Public Relations, Marketing and Advertising
Real Estate and Realtors
Specialized businesses
Start-ups

In the News

Rolling Stone Magazine Interview of Charlie Fern

St. Edward’s University magazine interview of Charlie Fern

Article on Speechwriting and Geopolitics

Interview with the Garden Island

2016 TIPA Hall of Fame Announcement

Gulf Coast Business and Professional Women

Services

What do we do around here? The ABCs and 123s of this strategic communications consultancy include nearly every service you can imagine across the wide world of professional communication and human interaction. Our services include, but are not limited to:

• Strategic communications consulting
• Speechwriting and coaching
• Communication plans
• Message strategies
• Executive briefings & correspondence
• Corporate, government & non-profit white papers
• Professional document editing and optimizing
• Publishing industry editing & writing
• Event planning
• Public relations plans, strategies and tactics
• Public service announcements
• Press releases & media advisories
• News & opinion editorial writing
• Public speaking & lectures
• Media – writing and training

Contact Charlie for more details.

Writing & Resources

As a journalist, Ms. Fern wrote and edited in all styles – hard news, lifestyles, sports, columns and editorials. More than 20 years later, she continues to write for all media and consults a national list of clients in the art and skill of writing and public communications, including public relations and strategic messaging. When she is not a featured writer, or featured as a writer in the news, she lectures at the university level and delivers seminars and motivational speeches to organizations and groups nationwide.

You will have heard Ms. Fern’s speeches on national television, national and international radio. You will have read her work in prominent newspapers and magazines worldwide. And on this Web site, you will find examples of her own writing on a myriad of personal and professional topics — from leadership and public speaking to storytelling and strategic communications. You’ll also find blogs, essays, and speeches, quotes, and writing tips by Charlie and her staff, here and elsewhere on this site. We hope you’ll find this information both useful (if you’re considering our services) and entertaining (if you’re just browsing for fun and inspiration). And if you want to stay put on this page, you’ll find a few samples below.

Personal Blog Posts:

Eight months pregnant and counting

Extolling the virtues of baby containing contraptions

Excerpt from memoirs:

A small excerpt

On Writing:

The Dirty Dozen of Grammatical Errors

Tips and Tricks

Newsletters:

Imagine Greater Possibilities